heavy.
July 1, 2008 | Category: I'm a Christian, I'm a Friend
I’m feeling very heavy today. Not the kind of day where I look in the mirror and decide my butt looks big, and for sure not the heavy I was feeling a year ago, but the kid of day where my heart feels like it’s going to drop out of my body. I’m sad, I’m depressed, I wished I didn’t have to live through these days.
So much ugly heavy going on it hurts.
This morning a friend from college was senselessly killed. He had a family, he was a great guy. The world is not right in my eyes.
This past year has been full of hurt. I can’t say it’s been all bad, many MANY good and wonderful things have happened. But so much has gone wrong, and I just don’t get it. We can shrug our shoulders and be cliche and say “when it rains it pours”, but come on! I don’t want to make a “list”, because that would feel weird and not right, but I’ve done it mentally up in my head.
I can’t help to think of all my friends that have lost loved ones, important relationships, friends and family that are physically and emotionally broken.
My only comfort is that this place is not my home. That all will be good someday.
Cheer me up. Tell me something nice that happened to you. Because I feel like I’m face down in the mulch.
No related posts.
Comments
13 Responses to “heavy.”
Leave a Reply
Hi, I’m Emily.
July 2nd, 2008 @ 12:59 am
I am so sorry to hear about your friend. I understand how heavy the world can feel. Try to take consolation in the small, good things that every day brings. My eleven month old was just outside, crawling in the clover. Life goes on.
[Reply]
July 2nd, 2008 @ 1:03 am
I am very sorry to hear about your friend. This world can be so harsh. As far as good things…today my son spontaneously came up to me gave me a big hug and told me he loved me. Love can make a difference!!
[Reply]
July 2nd, 2008 @ 1:50 am
I am so very sorry to hear about your friend. That kind of news is never easy to bear. We had three house showings today, so my house stayed clean from morning until night!
ha ha! That next to never happens. Yes, life does go on. I hope some little, happy things are going on around you. Much love!!
[Reply]
July 2nd, 2008 @ 2:25 am
Read THE SHACK, it is a christian fiction book, BUT GREAT. Pretty much all of northview is reading it. It doesn’t make the pain go away, but it helps our perception and outlook…i am sorry and i love you. call if you need anything
[Reply]
July 2nd, 2008 @ 2:51 am
emily – i’m sooo sorry to hear about your friend. I’m thinking about you! I know how the hurt is… i feel a little bit of it everyday.
[Reply]
July 2nd, 2008 @ 1:38 pm
Em, I have been praying for God to take some of you and your friends pain away and lay it on my shoulders. My heart is aching, so maybe it is working. I can only hope. We are left to wade through so much illogical, irrational, senseless things in this life. The only thing I do know for sure is that Christ is listening, and He is here. You and your friends are in my prayers constantly.
(And, to make you smile, I just told Dana that I was emailing you, and she told me to tell you that you needed to come over so you can see her band-aid, and Floppity the Rabbit. You must really rank pretty high!)
[Reply]
July 2nd, 2008 @ 1:48 pm
thank you for the nice post. over 100 people will benefit from troy’s young, healthy organs…that makes me feel a little better….
[Reply]
July 2nd, 2008 @ 3:13 pm
I am so sorry for your loss. It can be so hard sometimes when life seems to hand you nothing but sadness. it does get better. I know from experience. The other day Peanut ate some modeling clay. nontoxic thankfully. it’s the bake kind so her dad said she was just baking it and we’d have to wait a couple days to see her masterpiece!
[Reply]
July 2nd, 2008 @ 6:27 pm
I’m so sorry. How terrible. I have nothing to cheer you up, I’m in a bit of a funk myself.
[Reply]
July 2nd, 2008 @ 8:06 pm
Sorry to hear about your friend…I know the feeling of heaviness….this year has caused a lot of people we love sadness.
Matt is finally getting home from Japan….the hasn’t seen the kids in almost 2 weeks!!! I need him home…I need help!
At least Piper didn’t bite an 18 month old boys at school yesterday!!!! (Ethan….he was lucky we were in a public place when I found out) LOL!! Take care!
[Reply]
July 3rd, 2008 @ 1:35 am
Something to cheer you up…hmmm…the weather is nice enough that my son is having his sleepover in a tent in the backyard instead of in the house! That makes me happy! No, really, I’m sorry about your friend. I’ve had those days when it seems several bad things have happened over a period of months and I add it up “mentally” in my head too. 2006-2007 were like that for me with deaths, etc. Go ahead and grieve and feel bad cause that’s what we all do when something like this happens. It’s okay and it’ll be okay. It will get better and brighter for you– I promise.
Amy
[Reply]
July 4th, 2008 @ 1:31 am
I’m so sorry. I didn’t get a chance to catch up on my blogs until after you posted about helping that family on Thursday… it seems like so often when life doesn’t make sense, God gives us just what we need.
[Reply]
July 6th, 2008 @ 9:44 pm
Oh my darling lady, so sorry I’m late on this one. When I saw face down in the mulch I only assumed you were gardening, and boy I don’t garden.
Jennifer Aniston was having a so so hair day.
Love you bunches and the same offer you made to me I make to you.
[Reply]