Nobody will be Slipping Out of Me this Time Around.
September 29, 2009 | Category: I'm The Rage's Momma
*psa: this post is about birth. If you don’t like talking about how babies come into the world, you might want to be on your way. The word vagina is in this post. You’ve been warned.
Labor. I’ve done it twice. I think I have no choice but to do it again. There’s only one way out (ok, maybe 2) for this child and neither are what I would call a walk in the park.
I’ve gone into labor naturally both times, and both times received an epidural when enough became enough. At the time, I never once second guessed my choice.
Until…
Birdie was born under a blanket, with the lights out, with no doctor in sight. Because apparently I wasn’t being monitored closely enough by the hospital staff and I blissfully couldn’t feel my lady parts. Welcome to the world little one, I promise Momma will try not to ignore you now that you’re here.
This time around, my doctor has already asked if I want to be induced ahead of time. The answer is, no. I don’t want to be induced. She’s threatened me that if I don’t come to the hospital right away, as in, two weeks early so I can be induced, I’ll have this baby in the kitchen. Or the car. Or at Mc Donald’s.
You see, I blame how Birdie came into this world on my inability to know what was going on with my body. I want to avoid this as much as humanly possible the 3rd time around. Babies sneaking out of my ladyparts will never happen again. If a baby is coming out of me, I must know it (and so must everyone else in the room with me. Yes I’m talking to you, my husband sleeping on the medical hide-a-bed located across the room, you need to get up for this).
For this reason, I plan on going at this birth naturally. I’ve gone as far as requesting one of those “natural birthing rooms” at my hospital (aka fancy hot tub). Oh, and I’ve hired a doula.
Professing that I’m attempting to go at this au natural is very scary for me. I’m scared of becoming a big failure if I just can’t do it, and opt. for the drugs. If I make a big deal, spend a bunch of money on a doula, and then end up getting that medical cocktail of goodness pumped into me, what will people think?
I know that I’m risking being “all talk and no action” if I fail. But I’m going to give it a go. I must.
I’m just going to give it my best shot, because not being able to feel your baby slip out of your vagina is not as fun as it sounds.
Thoughts? Friendly words of encouragement?
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41 Responses to “Nobody will be Slipping Out of Me this Time Around.”
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September 30th, 2009 @ 1:33 am
You can do it. Don't let the naysayers or your own doubts get to you. Just say it and believe it. You CAN do it.
Best of luck!
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September 30th, 2009 @ 1:34 am
I've been lurking for awhile, but love reading. One thing, as long as the baby is born, you cannot fail…natural or not! Bring on the baby, Momma!
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September 30th, 2009 @ 2:08 am
I think you can do it if you set your mind to it HOWEVER, if you decide you need drugs NO ONE is allowed to look down on you or think badly of you for that.
Everyone's pain threshold is different and so is each birth…
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September 30th, 2009 @ 3:02 am
You can do it! I did it with both of mine (although I did have a little pain med for the first – but no epidural) and it was tough, but I would do it all over again if I had another child. But if you give in to pain meds, don't fret and just let others opinions of what you do or don't do go in one ear and out the other.
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September 30th, 2009 @ 3:56 am
You can do it. 2 out of my 3 births were drug free, and actually not that bad. The old cliche is true, though, as long as the baby is born and healthy. Good luck!
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September 30th, 2009 @ 3:58 am
I went the epidural route with all 3 of mine so far, but I've had good experiences each time. That's what works for me. But it's not what works for everybody. Medicine is not a hard-and-fast-rule kind of science.
I know that you can do it! I know you can. But also don't feel bad if you end up with the drugs.
Drugs or no drugs, I'll be praying for a safe delivery.
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September 30th, 2009 @ 4:51 am
You can do it!
Oh, and laboring in the water is wonderful. I delivered baby #2 in the tub and now I don't think I'll ever want to give birth without water again. It was such a comforting and peaceful experience (although still painful, I must admit).
Best wishes to you for a safe and positive LDR.
stephanie@metropolitanmama.net
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September 30th, 2009 @ 11:14 am
It won't feel good, but as others have said, "you can do it!"
I just delivered Mary less than 4 weeks ago in a water tub and agree with what Stephanie wrote – I wouldn't ever do it any other way.
The big key for me was staying rested and not trying to do anything once I got into labor. Except blog about it.
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September 30th, 2009 @ 11:55 am
I'm excited for you and your decision! I think, too, that because your last one came so fast, that your labor might be painful, but it will probably be short. At least you are't looking at 12-18 hours of labor, etc. Plus, having a doula there to coach you and encourage you will be really helpful, and if you are able to get through it all naturally, you'll feel really great about doing it. And if not, that will be ok too, because you will have had your baby, and that IS the ultimate goal, isn't it! I have a few books you can borrow, too, if you want to read up on methods, etc.
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September 30th, 2009 @ 2:05 pm
I'm so proud of you. You can do this.
And if for some reason it doesn't happen how you want it to? Well, that's ok too.
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September 30th, 2009 @ 2:13 pm
You can do it, and I promise, you will feel awesome afterward (and maybe even during!). I have some suggestions for preparing, if you want. And a doula, very good choice. Im assuming you read my raves about the birthing tub too:) Keep me posted!
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September 30th, 2009 @ 2:31 pm
As a woman who has had 2 c-sections I say go for it!! My first I had twins and 1 with medical probelms so the section was a must, #2 was a must also because of my blood pressure…if I go for pregnancy #3(baby #4), I want to do it natural!!! I'll be praying for you!!!
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September 30th, 2009 @ 2:47 pm
(you just make me laugh!) So what if you have these plans then can't go through with them. At least you are going to try. I thought about the natural way before I went in because I thought I had educated myself enough on breathing techniques, taken classes, etc. but when it got right down to it I could not tolerate the pain (but my boy was big!) so begged for mercy (drugs) not long into the delivery game.
Every childbirth is different. I do agree with you not wanting to be induced and I hope you don't drop this baby out your lady parts when you get up from bed one morning.
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September 30th, 2009 @ 3:41 pm
Whew! For a second there I thought you were going to say you had requested a C-Section.
I've ordered my tub, too! Heck we might even use the same room.
Not at the same time of course though…that would be awkward!!! (But great bloggy material, don't ya think? "So Sarah was over there grunting and I was just trying to breath…"
We didn't get the doula though.
But anyway, good for you! I'm sure you will do great!
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September 30th, 2009 @ 3:42 pm
You go girl!! You CAN do it and don't let people talk you out of it! And if by chance you do opt for the drugs…big deal!
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September 30th, 2009 @ 4:49 pm
I am so impressed with women who can do this. I was begging for the epi! If you put your mind to it, I'm sure you can do it. : )
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September 30th, 2009 @ 5:08 pm
I had the QUADS naturally. No big deal. Don't sweat it.
Okay, so maybe I had a few drugs, and maybe they cut me open from hip to hip, but the rest was totally natural. =)
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September 30th, 2009 @ 5:11 pm
I think we can only do our best. We go in with the best case scenario and then roll with the punches. Or contractions. I had planned a drug free birth and then Pitocin knocked all notions of that out of my head. And in the end, he's here and healthy. I would never had been able to push for two hours after twelve hours of Piticicontractions, so I'm glad I made that choice.
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September 30th, 2009 @ 6:12 pm
You know, I always wondered how many babies are born under the blanket while the mama is blissfully unaware. Because I totally get how that could happen after I had the epi with my first. Hello numb and non-working lower half!
But yeah, I gave birth twice drug-free and while it's a lot of hard work, you CAN do it. Surround yourself with positive reinforcements and put the idea of drugs out of your head. If you don't have that option on the table to begin with, it'll be a lot easier. I realize that's difficult to do in the hospital environment. I'll be hoping for a quick and easy birth for you so you won't even have time to think about the drugs. Good luck!
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September 30th, 2009 @ 6:22 pm
I just wanted to be the only guy ballsy enough to write a comment in this post. There. Alright. I'm leaving now. -Mr. Blonde
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September 30th, 2009 @ 6:28 pm
You can DEFINITELY do it. Hiring a doula was a great move. I had one for both of my natural births. It made a huge difference to have an expert with me the entire time. Can't wait to read your birth story… no guilt, no pressure.
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September 30th, 2009 @ 7:11 pm
I'm really proud of you, and I know you can do this (that said, if you don't, I'll also know that you did your best and still be just as proud). I've never had anything but natural childbirths, so of course, I'm biased. The truth is, it hurts. You know that, of course, but it's a good kind of hurt because once it's over, you feel more amazing than you have ever felt in your entire life. And the feeling at the moment your child slips out of your body? You'll remember that forever.
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September 30th, 2009 @ 7:22 pm
First off, let me say that drugs are created for a reason. If you end up needing meds, you're not a failure.
Second, you can have meds in your IV line to take the edge off the pain while still having full sensation of your nethers. Don't be afraid to try that.
Third, no matter how the baby makes an entrance into the world, it's a celebratory success.
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September 30th, 2009 @ 7:23 pm
And fourth – the hot tub is your friend. Underwater births are so much easier for recovery. Ask the doula about it – she'll share the specifics. And strangely, they don't drown the baby. You might want to avoid asking the delivering midwife this while in active labor though. *ahem*
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September 30th, 2009 @ 7:49 pm
You can do it. Just remember that when it gets so bad you can't take it anymore, you are probably close to pushing and don't have much time left. Whenever I thought I wanted an epi, I was embarrassed and didn't want to disappoint my nurse (she was excited that I was going natural), and that helped me stick it out. I kept telling myself that by tonight this will all be a wonderful memory and the pain will be gone!
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September 30th, 2009 @ 8:28 pm
Good for you. Only you know what's best. Having my baby under a blanket would kinda freak me out anyways. I had two failed epidurals with both kids so I am not a big fan of them plus I thought they hurt like hell going in.
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September 30th, 2009 @ 8:53 pm
Have had one with an epidural and one without. The without was way speedy and therefore I didn't have time to get one. I must say it was so much better of a birth experience. I felt like a million bucks after and could get up and walk around. I have an extrememly low pain threshold and I did it. I think adreneline kicked in and helped a lot.
Make sure the hubby and nurses are cheerleading you along and you will do awesome!! Plus I hope to deliver naturally very soon and will trash talk about it to you. Will that help?
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September 30th, 2009 @ 10:46 pm
Hey Em, Carol just had her little girl (Kate Madeline) today totally drug-free (by choice). You can do it!
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October 1st, 2009 @ 2:00 am
I just have to agree with everyone who said using a tub made natural labor so much more manageable. I've had two natural births. The first was with pitocin and no tub and it was long and painful. The second was without pitocin and in the tub (at Methodist- they were awesome) and it was so much better. Oddly enough, I took a few prenatal yoga classes during my second pregnancy and the breathing exercises we practiced in yoga were more helpful than the bajillion hours I spent in Bradley childbirth classes.
No matter what happens, though, none of the choices you make during labor mean any kind of failure on your part.
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October 1st, 2009 @ 3:34 am
Have you read Dooce's post about her natural birth. It really sounded so amazing and zen. You'll be perfect, no matter what ends up happening.
Although I must say having never had a child before, the idea of one slipping out sounds nice
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October 1st, 2009 @ 12:49 pm
The epidural made me not be able to feel so that the opposite happened, I almost couldn't get my baby out. I plan on the doula myself, god willing there is a next time. My sister in-law celebrated a vbac with her second mostly because before hand she "put her mind to it". I think thats important, mind over matter if you will. Us women are unstoppable if we want to be. You will do excellent!
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October 1st, 2009 @ 1:30 pm
YOU CAN DO IT! If God ever grants me a third child I want to try to do it naturally too
You are a strong person, you will have no problem.
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October 1st, 2009 @ 1:31 pm
You can totally do it! I had my 2nd baby without any drugs and it was fine. Granted, I asked for an epidural and they told me I wasn't far enough along and wouldn't you know it? I was. I actually recovered a lot quicker the natural way too. Good luck!
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October 1st, 2009 @ 1:40 pm
You can do it! I agree with everyone else in saying that the doula is a good investment – having someone there who knows exactly what you are going through and who can meet your needs on that level will be a tremendous help! Remember: the pain is temporary and there is no Golden Uterus Award.
(I had Cooper with an epidural, Maren with a spinal, Quinn with IV Fentenyl, and Briar with nothing but a wing and a prayer . . . my labor lasted just over 3 hours, and she was born 17 minutes after we got to the hospital – because I too am one of those women that has no idea what is going on with her body. 99% of hubby not wanting to have another child is because the fire department will most likely be involved in delivery. Part of getting through the pain was the chaos involved in just getting to the hospital, but part of it was just closing my eyes, focusing, and knowing that the pain would all be worth it . . . well, that, and a nurse telling me there was no way I had any time for an epidural.)
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October 1st, 2009 @ 1:42 pm
D'oh. I meant to add . . . my last birth (with no medication) was the easiest to 'bounce back' from – I immediately felt great and didn't have the groginess and overall feeling of separation from my body that I had with my previous births.)
Good luck!
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October 1st, 2009 @ 8:36 pm
Giggles head was nearly out as I was screaming at them & telling them she was coming. They finally checked me and totally wigged out. It wasn't pretty. It was natural, except for some shot that made me barf and didn't help with the pain.
The Chicken was better, but I have to say that the pushing sucked because well, Giggles tried to deliver herself.
My advice is to make sure that you keep in tune with your body and to make sure that you have yourself surrounded with people who are willing to be your advocate, go up to bat for you and after you say some possibly hurtful things to them (natural childbirth yo) they will love you the next day. And in the end if you need the drugs, its really okay.
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October 2nd, 2009 @ 12:56 am
You can do it…and for some reason you can't…that's okay too
Good Luck!
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October 2nd, 2009 @ 5:01 pm
You can do it! I've had 2 natural births, and I think hiring a doula is the most helpful thing. Hubby was great during labor, but my doula was amazing. reassuring and helpful. Good luck!
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October 2nd, 2009 @ 8:02 pm
I totally respect your decision. I don't have any advice because I haven't done it natural but I think that having a doula sounds so appealing. And I think you'll do great.
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October 5th, 2009 @ 1:28 am
Woot! This is great!
I suspect that because this is your third, if things go smoothly with the birth, you'll be able to handle it because it'll go quickly. Get ready for a rollercoaster. That doula and your hubby will get you through it!
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October 15th, 2009 @ 2:17 am
Of course you CAN! Women have been doing so for eons, but in the event, know that you can ask for a LOW DOSE epidural that will take the pain away but NOT leave you completely numb from the waist down. I'm a huge natural birth fan (had a home birth VBAC), but think it's important to know your options anyway…
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