I just need to get this off my chest
August 23, 2010 | Category: I'm a Wife
So there is something I need to vent to a friend. So let’s pretend that you’re my friend, and I’m gonna call you on the phone just to whine and complain for a few minutes.
Ok. Awesome. Here it goes:
*ring, ring*
YOU: Hello!
ME: Oh hey, how was your weekend? Mine? Pretty Good. Just kinda hung out and stuff.
ME: Guess what? Someone in my house was doing yardwork last weekend and got Poison Ivy pretty much all over his body. Especially his arms, and apparently his finger. But he said it was cool, Poison Ivy isn’t contagious.
ME: Oh, and guess what? This someone touched my b00bs, because this someone likes to touch them. Even with Poison Ivy fingers.
ME: Oh, and guess what? Now my b00bs itch. And one place on my upper theigh itches too. Yeah, I know. I can’t even leave the house without looking like a pervert. It’s like 99 degrees out, and itchy sweaty b00bs make me want to touch myself. No, not in that way.
YOU: (this is where you leave me a smart comment on how you would treat the itch, and how you might react if someone gave you Poison Ivy on your boobas.)
ME: Thanks friend, I knew you would cheer me up.
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August 23rd, 2010 @ 1:24 pm
It is expensive but let me tell you the treatment that WORKS. It's called Zanfel. It's $40 a tube, but it WORKS.
Now for your husband…it IS contagious. It's an oil. It spreads. That's why it spreads when you itch.
It's a crap-shoot if you are allergic to it. I'm not – my son and Dad just have to LOOK at it and they get it.
Don't itch, you'll spread it. Get the Zanfel – well worth the $40, I promise. Usually knocks it out in one treatment (if it's mild)…2 if it's really bad.
Good luck!
Silly husbands…always focused on one thing and it totally sends all the blood to the wrong brain. They do not have much intelligence about anything when they're focusing on the wrong head. LOL
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August 23rd, 2010 @ 1:25 pm
I went to a party in the woods in highschool with no indoor plumbing. Spent the entire night peeing against the same tree, by wrapping my arms around it and squatting. Guess what!?! THAT TREE WAS COVERED IN POISON IVY! So not only did I get it from my finger tips to my elbows, but also from my knees to my lady, and all over my bum. Made that summer between my senior year and college a little, let's say, uncomfortable.
That being said, Benedryl and calamine. Also, a really hot bath.
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August 23rd, 2010 @ 1:31 pm
Girl…call Mo Henein and get a prescription for a steroid cream…there's no time to fool around!
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August 23rd, 2010 @ 2:03 pm
The husband got poison ivy 5 days before our wedding during his bachelor party when they were paintballing. Um, we got married in July. July heat plus a tuxedo was not fun. Get a prescription.
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August 23rd, 2010 @ 2:27 pm
Yuck yuck poison ivy is the worst. I am crazy-allergic to it which means I blow up like a balloon when I have it.
So I'd probably put my husband out in the back yard until he's healed.
Oh wait, did you want tips on healing the itch? Nothing really works for me except cold baths. Ahh, sweet relief.
Hang in there!
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August 23rd, 2010 @ 2:36 pm
I'm cracking up over this! Sorry. But, I am! GREAT subject line! [Mr. Blonde]
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August 23rd, 2010 @ 2:39 pm
oh suck! silly hubby! i'd do pay backs….give it back to him on a not so pleasant area! lol!
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August 23rd, 2010 @ 2:43 pm
I spent a weekend at a friends ranch ( I think I was 10), we were riding our bikes, and I fell, right into poison oak. It was all over me. It was terrible.
So sorry.
Love the chat! Very, very funny!
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August 23rd, 2010 @ 2:57 pm
Oh, man, I guess if I had to choose which of my girly private bits that I got poison ivy on, I'd choose my breasts over my… well, you know.
That sounds MISERABLE. I'd do what the others said and get a Rx ASAP.
Also, this is hardly a small thing to complain about. I'd be bitching FAR AND WIDE if I were you!
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August 23rd, 2010 @ 3:08 pm
I think the only real solution is to buy a doghouse, put it out in the back yard, and send your husband out to live in it for a few weeks. That would make me feel a tiny bit better, anyway.
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August 23rd, 2010 @ 3:08 pm
I think the only real solution is to buy a doghouse, put it out in the back yard, and send your husband out to live in it for a few weeks. That would make me feel a tiny bit better, anyway.
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August 23rd, 2010 @ 3:11 pm
Oh no! Get ZANFEL NOW! It really works.(From someone who knows). Poison ivy is spread by the oil so if the oil in on the clothes…sheets…skin…if you touch it, you may get it! I have been really really careful this summer and it is the first time in years I didn't get it. Remember when I got it from Miles? He did his duty in the weeds by us and then I picked him up and cuddled him. Obviously the oil was on his fur. My arms..even under my chin. Hope this heals really soon and don't itch it!
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August 23rd, 2010 @ 3:31 pm
I dunno 'bout this Zanfel stuff-but Dollar General (around here) has something called Ivy Away (at least, I think that's what it's called) hubby got PI so bad his arms were swollen and nasty earlier this year, and it just kept spreading. He washed with that stuff and the next morning it wasn't swollen and was on it's way out. One more wash and it was all but gone. That stuff takes no prisoners…and is cheap (compared to $40/tube stuff) to boot!
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August 23rd, 2010 @ 3:49 pm
Checking (my hopefully non-poison) Ivy right now! LOL
Hope all is ok! My mom swears by a burts bees thing for poison ivy I think!
Steph
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August 23rd, 2010 @ 6:03 pm
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I have no treatment advice, sorry. But you certainly gave me a good laugh!!
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August 23rd, 2010 @ 6:25 pm
I have no experience whatsoever but I am just sooooo feeling your pain right now!! You poor thing!!
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August 23rd, 2010 @ 8:36 pm
Possibly one of the best post titles EVER. Thanks for the laugh; sorry for the itches.
P.S. If today is the day I see you walking down the street, I will totally yell, "Perv!"
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August 23rd, 2010 @ 8:37 pm
Well if you called me I would offer to scratch your itch b/c well, its my day to be inappropriate. For reals…sending icky love all over the blogosphere.
Good luck! Looks like your other readers have way better solutions.
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August 23rd, 2010 @ 8:50 pm
Is it wrong if the first thing I did when reading this was try to think if you touched me at all on Saturday?
Anyway, I say you first chop off one of his fingers… seems like fair payback. Then call your doctor and find out what they recommend to stop the itching, because you can't go around scratching your b00bs all day long.
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August 23rd, 2010 @ 9:11 pm
oh boy, that does NOT sound like fun and i'm sorry but i've got nothing for ya…never had poison ivy! keep the rage away from those boobies of yours…last thing you need is having him get it all over his mouth!
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August 24th, 2010 @ 12:34 am
Oh no! Hope you can get some of that Zanfel and that it works!
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August 24th, 2010 @ 12:42 am
Oh, I am so sorry I'm laughing, but you realize this is kind of funny, right? Ooooh…I'm itching just thinking about it! (good luck.)
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August 24th, 2010 @ 1:18 am
Ok I tried really hard not to laugh at this whole post. but I did. I laughed. I am such a bad friend.
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August 24th, 2010 @ 1:38 am
Why didn't you tell me Rage was doing yard work already?
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August 24th, 2010 @ 2:54 am
first, wash EVERYTHING. skin, clothes, everything that could have the oil on it, even potentially. i had poison ivy in the spring and ended up getting it on my chest too, because it was on my shirt and when i took it off i somehow let it touch my chest. second, get some sarna lotion and third don't scratch it. it is so miserably itchy, i'm sorry!
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August 24th, 2010 @ 3:50 am
Email me your address, I will send sometime to you that will help instantly.
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August 24th, 2010 @ 12:34 pm
Oh no! I have no advice, better I do feel bad for you. Feel better soon!
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August 24th, 2010 @ 1:02 pm
This is really sad and funny all at once. Really? What are the chances? And um, didn't your husband major in science in college? yeah, he should know better.
No ideas on how to fix, sorry. Hope you feel better soon though!
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August 24th, 2010 @ 1:28 pm
OHHHH NOOOO! When hubby and I were dating in High School he had done yard work a few days before our big school formal. (he's not allergic – guess who is!) I had it all over my face and neck (nice huh?! I still cringe when I think of it and we've been married 25 years)
Oatmeal baths, calamine lotion, and time seems to be all that work for us. (we've got 6 kids – only a few are allergic like momma!)
If people look at you while "touching yourself" just smile and tell them "its a bad rash but I think it's going away!" lol – then watch for their reactions
Happy Tuesday!
Michelle @ undeservingyetoverblessed.blogspot.com
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August 24th, 2010 @ 1:29 pm
My husband swears taking a bath in aveeno products will help.
http://www.aveeno.com/skincare/products/skin-relief-bath-treatment
And while I feel very badly for you, funny as heck post!
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August 24th, 2010 @ 4:28 pm
I have nothing more to say except if this were at my house my A$$ would be itching like crazy!!! ;-P
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August 24th, 2010 @ 6:33 pm
Did you ever hear the story about the female brain cell that got curious about her male counterparts so she went for a visit?
When she arrived in the male brain, it was dark and quiet and very empty. "Maybe they are all sleeping," the female brain cell thought to herself. So she called out, "Hello! Is anyone here?"
Very faintly, she heard a cry.
"We're all down here!"
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August 24th, 2010 @ 6:38 pm
(That was supposed to come across as a big "Men!" eye roll. I felt I must explain in case it came across as slightly bizarre.)
(Also? Hi. I'm new. Lately, I'm following links from Stephanie's blog and making all sorts of new friends.)
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August 25th, 2010 @ 10:01 pm
Oh dear! Did you try anything to get rig of the itch, calamine, oatmeal!!!
So sorry about this!
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August 26th, 2010 @ 4:28 am
I have NO idea what to do about the poison ivy.
But I will say that anyone who gave me poison ivy boobs? Does not get to touch those boobs again for a good long while. It's only logical – you have to protect yourself.
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August 26th, 2010 @ 3:09 pm
Hey, I am new to this. Please follow my blog!
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August 26th, 2010 @ 8:34 pm
I'd be annoyed too! since I'm now breastfeeding my hubby is totally obsessed with looking at my boobs so I can relate!
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August 27th, 2010 @ 2:36 am
Hilarious post! I had horrible poison ivy on my legs, arms, and even face in June. My biggest advice is be very careful if you end up getting a shot/oral steroids. I ended up with the shingles bc my immune system was comprised after 2 prescriptions and 2 shots.
I tried about everything – Ivy Dry was great and also plain ole cortisone. Good luck and sorry!
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August 29th, 2010 @ 12:04 pm
Oh that is horrible….I hope it is getting better. I haven't had much experience with the ivy, but since I grew up on the west coast, I had LOTS of run-ins with poison oak…belch!
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August 30th, 2010 @ 7:57 am
Topical benedryl works well but Zanfel works the best. To relieve the itching while you're at home – take a cold ice pack (or a bag of ice) and place it on the affected area. The cool temperature will help bring any swelling down (my mom used to do this to me because I'd always get poison ivy as a kid). Wrap it in a towel if you need to but if it's hot out, it'll help bring your body temperature down.
As for your husband – I believe a weeks worth of washing dishes and doing laundry is a fair punishment. Where'd he get the idea that poison ivy doesn't spread??
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September 15th, 2010 @ 1:27 am
Oh my goodness, this post is too funny.
Hopefully, your boobs are no longer itchy. My husband has gotten poison ivy really bad many times, so when he is around it at all. I steer clear of him for a bit
Alittle prevention tip for next time!!!
I really like the new blog!
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September 24th, 2010 @ 3:56 pm
try mean green, industrial hand cleaner. it has the little gritty things in there and is designed to help wash off sappy oils (creosote). i bet its much less expensive than the typical commercial stuff.
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