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My home team | designhermomma.com

My home team

I’ve recently been thinking a lot about my “home team” and what that looks like.  Who’s on my home team, and who’s home team am I on?

Who’s on my home team? People that even when they find out how flawed and broken I am, they still accept me.  People I would call, no matter what hour of the day it was, if the unimaginable were to ever happen.  People I would bend over backwards for, no matter how bad it hurt.  People that it would be ok to do “the ugly cry” in front of.

I believe the size of my team is ever evolving, and key players might come and go from season to season. Despite my openness on the blog, I’m a pretty private and introverted person.  So my home team?  Is probably smaller than yours.

The players on my team are so important to me.  Without each of them, I would surely fumble at this game called life.  Or at least a life worth living.

I’m scared.  What if the people on my team, the people I hold dearest to my heart, don’t know they’re on my team?  Because I don’t tell them how important they are to me.  Because I don’t make adequate time for them. What if I don’t completely know who’s on my team?  Because I don’t ever stop long enough to figure it out.

Their phone calls/emails/messages get pushed aside.  Visits are far and few between, and often rescheduled.  It’s scary how easy it is to justify my actions, because I assume that they will love me no matter what, they’re on my team! Right?

I don’t have family in town.  Although my family will always be on my team, I really rely on relationships and friendships I’ve built in town for my everyday team.

For instance:

When Gage was born, I called a friend (who has her own 4 kids), to come over at 2:30 in the morning.  What would I have done without her?

When I was in labor (natural labor, which apparently gives me “crazy eyes”) I trusted one of my best friends to be there, and document it all.

When I had a flat tire and my husband didn’t pick up his work phone, I called her.  I also did the ugly cry to her, when I found out I was unexpectedly pregnant with PK, over 6 years ago.

And when I post about my feelings on the blog, she always follows up with a phone call.  Or walks a vodka tonic over to my house in a to-go cup.  She’s not nosy, she just cares.

I believe having a huge group of somewhat close friends is ok.  But I also 100% believe it’s important to realize who those special people are in your life. The ones that got your back, no matter what.

I’ve been out of the game for awhile.  Hopefully the team is forgiving, and this season will be better.  I’m ready for a comeback.

*this post was inspired by a chapter in the book, Bittersweet, by Shauna Niequist.  Take my advice, it’s a must read.

Comments

comments

Comments

  1. I am working on figuring out my home team right now too, most of which have seen my “ugly cry” these past few days. And as for this book, LOVE IT! I’m not too far into it yet, but the last two paragraphs on pages 44 and 45 lay heavy on me.

    PS. If you show me your “ugly cry” and I’ll show you mine…

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  2. The beauty of having a team is that you need not have a roster of who is on your team and who isn’t. I feel it’s one of those unspoken things. Those who are on the team, know they are on it… if they have to ask, they probably aren’t.

    Oh, and I do love a good “ugly cry,” lucky for me I don’t think it is documented anywhere for all posterity.

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  3. this post got me thinking!!!! OK have to go make some phone call…

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  4. Adding that book to my request list at the library.

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  5. Great post. I’m sure everyone who is on your home team, is grateful to be there.

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  6. Oh my gosh- I’ve not heard of that book. I will have to check it out. Also, I know just what you’re saying here.

    Steph
    Adventures In Babywearing recently posted..I Am Super Mom

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  7. My home team is tiny, too, but what it lacks in quantity, it makes up for in quality.

    I think I’ll write my own home team post!

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  8. I think your home team is probably bigger than you think it is.

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  9. What’s even better? When your home team meets your out of town teams in different cities and everyone gets along…

    That’s quite the euphemism…you know, Utah, Canada, Indy in New York? Or Indy in Michigan? Or Utah in Indy? Or Indy in Nashville…or Chicago? Yeah, I knew you’d get it.

    We’re on the same team.

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  10. sometimes i think it would be really refreshing to live somewhere other than the town where i have always lived, somewhere where i would have to go out and find a team. we rely on family so much and all of my closest friends live many states away.

    if there are spaces on your roster please sign me up.
    erin from swonderland recently posted..i have teeth

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  11. home teams are much smaller than people think for people who put it all out there…but they are so SO important. They are the ones who “got yo back.” And Curly up there is right…if someone has to ASK if they are on the team? They probably aren’t.
    Katie recently posted..Back to School Bonanza Guest Post 4- Adrienne

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  12. I so needed this one. I’m in the midst of figuring out that I put up a lot of walls that don’t allow people to get too close. I’m not liking that realization much. Time to tear down some barriers…
    punkinmama recently posted..punkinisms

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    Bridget Reply:

    Me, too. Oh…me, too. I want friends. I need friends. But I let so many things get in the way. Little, stupid, insignificant things. Excuses, really.

    Here’s to breaking down walls, thanking those who are on my team, and just being a better friend.

    And, Emily, if you find that book for cheap at a yard sale, will you buy it and mail it to me instead of selling it on eBay? 🙂
    Bridget recently posted..Ten Things Your Pediatrician Wants to Tell You But Never Will

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  13. I get this so much. I’d be lost without my home team.

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  14. I really want someone to photograph my labor/delivery when we eventually get pregnant with baby #3, but I’m not sure if I feel comfortable enough to ask anyone to be there. Birth is such an intimate, private experience between me and my husband…and I can’t decide how I feel about having a third party there. Hmmm.

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