work, work, all week long.
February 21, 2011 | Category: Uncategorized
I’ve been the girl, the girl who’s worked in that place where 40 hours feels unattainable, and the work week feels like it will never come to an end. The girl that realizes she has no self worth nor any self importance in her current position. The girl that is stuck in the middle of nowhere in particular, and knows it.
I’ve been the girl crying to herself in her busted out 1994 VW Jetta with no air conditioning on a hot August lunch hour in the Panera Bread parking lot on a random Thursday. The girl that doesn’t know how she’s ever going to make it 4 more hours in that hellish office waiting for the clock to strike 5pm when she can get the you-know-what out of there.
I’ve also been that girl who’s landed the “dream job”. But the job consists of a 65 hours a week, which is considered no big deal. No congratulations, no high fives, no nothing. The place where your job is always in jeopardy, no matter how much you risk. Because even though you bust your rear end, you’re still expendable to the company. And the let you know it.
But wait. I’ve been there too. That place of being “let go”. Unemployment, if you will. That worthless place of having no children, no friend, no money, in a town where I didn’t belong. I’ve never been so sad, nor watched so many soap operas in the middle of the afternoon by myself. That girl hated herself. Waiting for the next big thing. Or at least the next better thing, just anything.
Not too long ago, I was that girl stuck blissfully in the middle. 3 days in the office, a day (or so) working from home, taking care of an only child. The place where colleagues knew you had a home life, but still didn’t excuse you from pending deadlines. It was the best of both worlds.
Right now, I’m that girl. The girl that still has deadlines daily. Promises made to people I love. Being a stay at home mom to 3 of the best (and most challenging) humans to ever walk the planet. Every once in awhile, I’ll have a design deadline. Every week I have a couple writing assignments. But for the most part, my deadlines revolve around little people.
My point is this. I’ve been there. I’ve been at quite a few different stages of life. Some I loved, some I loathed with all that is inside of me.
I’ve rarely found myself at a place of contentment. I’ve always felt that the grass is greener if I can just get to that “next place”.
I’ve often wished that I’ve had “what she has”, because what she has going on would be perfect for me.
But, I’ve reached a point. I’m ready to accept who I am, where I’m at, and what I’ve been given.
I’m gonna be cool with who Emily is right now.
Someday, Emily might (and will) be a different person, because people and lives are ever evolving.
I might design great spaces! Write amazing things people want to read! Start amazing projects and actually finish them!
But it’s not gonna happen today. And probably not tomorrow either.
Right now? I’m a girl. Taking care of three kids, being the best mom and wife she can be.
And oh, I might be writing about it during naps and after kids bedtimes. Sleep is dumb, and so is editing.
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28 Responses to “work, work, all week long.”
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Hi, I’m Emily.
February 21st, 2011 @ 9:50 pm
And tomorrow you eat pizza and watch dodgy television on my couches.
YAY!
moosh in indy. recently posted..30 weeks
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February 21st, 2011 @ 10:04 pm
i like you just how you are. i am so glad i know you. xo
erin from swonderland recently posted..see-through
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February 21st, 2011 @ 10:05 pm
Emily is way cool.
(I had an ’89 Jetta. I don’t remember whether or not the a/c worked, but I do know that I loved that car. It was my first.)
Nichole recently posted..Free chickens are the best chickens
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February 21st, 2011 @ 10:12 pm
Thanks.
Katie recently posted..Starting over
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February 21st, 2011 @ 10:13 pm
I think you ARE just where you NEED to be right now. Definitely.
Elaine recently posted..Steppin Out Saturday and NSV!
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February 21st, 2011 @ 10:16 pm
I am currently driving an 07 Jetta but it has air conditioning. However I am much like the girl in the first scenario.
Except I find the cry is much better in the Target parking lot than in the Panera lot… only because too many of my parents friends eat at Panera.
Love this post.
ClassyFabSarah recently posted..Gotta Be the Shoes
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February 21st, 2011 @ 10:21 pm
I totally know what you mean. I have also been coming to terms with finding contentment in my life because the truth is this. All the things I want-the conferences I want to attend, the books I want to write, the vacations I want to go on, the career I want to have-I wouldn’t want any of those things if it meant that I couldn’t have my family.
So for now, like you, I am content, knowing that this is only a short phase of life. One I had better cherish before the moment escapes me, and I find myself wishing for these days.
Great post!
Shondra recently posted..Orcas Island- My Slice of Heaven
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February 21st, 2011 @ 10:43 pm
I love this Emily! And those three are three of the greatest design projects you’ll ever work on.
Bridget recently posted..Oh- It’s Such A Perfect Day…
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February 21st, 2011 @ 10:48 pm
Wow. I am the one who hates where I am right now. I count down the hours until the day is done and I count down the hours until the work week is done. I started going to school so that I can make a career change in a few years. Sometimes I desperately want to try finding another job NOW, but we’re trying for a baby and I don’t want to start somewhere to only be pregnant right away. Plus my current place has insanely great insurance and is flexible with my school schedule….so I remind myself that I’m stuck now only because of my future goals…some days it’s pretty difficult to keep this all in perspective. I’m a new reader to your blog and it was nice to read that someone else has been where I am now. Great Post.
Amanda recently posted..Her
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February 21st, 2011 @ 10:50 pm
I’ve been that girl. Just tonight I was thinking… when can I punch out already??? But yeah, this is a pretty good gig.
Steph
adventuresinbabywearing recently posted..from the right bank
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February 21st, 2011 @ 11:12 pm
It’s been hard for me to be happy along the way, too. I have come to terms that right now I am not going to be who I thought I might be, but I am what I need to be. Me.
stephany recently posted..get moving…
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February 21st, 2011 @ 11:42 pm
I agree… sleep is totally dumb (oh… and with everything else before that too! AWESOME post.)
Colleen recently posted..Grace in Small Things – 108
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February 21st, 2011 @ 11:43 pm
Well said. Our work lives evolve and change. Sometimes we forget to notice the changes we make.
Good luck with those deadlines. May the kids all sleep at the same time!
Leah @ Beyer Beware recently posted..Just add more butteradvice from the PW!
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February 22nd, 2011 @ 9:20 am
I feel like you wrote this post just for me. Thank you.
Mary @ A Simple Twist of Faith recently posted..Breathe
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February 22nd, 2011 @ 9:54 am
I would love to be the girl you are now- instead I’m the one who is counting down the hours and minutes until the end of the day. I keep hoping if I keep my head down and plow through I’ll get to that other side…that’s how it works, right?
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February 22nd, 2011 @ 1:19 pm
It is the hardest thing in the world to be happy with where we are now. Because the “grass is always greener” or the next big thing is right over this next hill. I am so guilty of this too.
inthefastlane recently posted..Positives and Negatives
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February 22nd, 2011 @ 2:44 pm
Hey, we’re coworkers!!! I’m pretty much in the same gig although I am also that girl who is teaching 21 other kids how to read, write, and add while encouraging them to become productive citizens. I think we have to embrace what we have and where we are in the moment. Life is too fast, gigs will come and go, but we only have one chance with our own little people!!
Mel @ Mel’s Box of Chocolates recently posted..Choffy- Its Brewed Chocolate
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February 22nd, 2011 @ 8:30 pm
Emily – i think you have a pretty amazing life! I’d switch places any day
I’m sick of my deadlines.
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February 22nd, 2011 @ 8:42 pm
The beauty of life is that it is ever-changing, and we are never defined by one single moment. I loved this post! And your beautiful children are masterpieces . . .
Rima recently posted..We’re Probably on the Second Tier Invite List
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February 22nd, 2011 @ 8:47 pm
I’ve been to some of those “places,” too (only my VW Jetta had busted windows). Great post, really speaks to my heart!
Nicole at Arrows Sent Forth recently posted..The Indiana Statehouse for Presidents Day Weekend
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February 22nd, 2011 @ 9:07 pm
Emily,
I totally understand where you are coming from, I feel like I’ve always been looking for the next best apartment, job, career, outfit, pair of shoes, everything. I never relax and never stop to enjoy what i have. However, being 10 years younger than you, I can tell you, you are that girl that I can’t wait to be like, being a mom someday, taking care of my children, working from home and having a great marriage, house and life. And you do write things worth reading. I have read your blog everyday for the last two years and you are funny as hell. Keep going girl, I’m rooting for ya:)
Heather recently posted..This guy should win an award Best House Tour Ever
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February 22nd, 2011 @ 9:09 pm
I love this.
Christen K recently posted..Tonight’s Bedtime Conversation
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February 22nd, 2011 @ 9:18 pm
I have been several of those girls. You are so right, contentment is truly a mindset, not a destination.
Cris recently posted..Dora & My Explorer
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February 23rd, 2011 @ 12:08 pm
I love this post. Really. Because I need the reminder (as I chase project after project) that I LIKE who I am. I like what I do (because I really do), and I need to be Ok with letting go of the things that, well, just don’t fit.
I’ve been a struggling this and a struggling that and right now I am a struggling teacher and mom. But you know what? If I wasn’t struggling at that? I would find another challenge to master (and struggle with until I did. Did I say struggle? STRUGGLE).
I FINALLY (as in this week) have been able to look at myself in the mirror and say, “ok. this is what I am doing for right now. and it is good to me. God is good.”
Katie recently posted..it’s all about me
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February 24th, 2011 @ 8:29 pm
i love this. LOVE.
girlymama recently posted..the case of the missing alarm clock
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February 27th, 2011 @ 1:04 pm
and that Emily girl….she’s pretty awesome!!
domestic extraordinaire recently posted..My Friend FireMom-Alternately titled How Jenna doesnt really want the Steelers to Win Super Bowl XLV
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March 1st, 2011 @ 9:22 pm
A lovely reminder that it’s okay to just “be.” Thank you.
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December 14th, 2011 @ 2:04 am
YAY! I feel like you wrote this post just for me. I count down the hours until the day is done and I count down the hours until the work week is done.
Addie Stevenson recently posted..Many Cures
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