So you know how my girls are all into that
stupid silly Elf on a Shelf? Ours creepster of an elf is named Edward, and Edward has been getting desperate for ideas to hide himself at night.
So Edward had an idea, he decided to hit the blogs and copy a brilliant idea he saw on his friend Allison’s site. Why not take an epic poop on the potty? And since he’s all magical and stuff, he’ll even poop Hershey kisses!
Such an awesome idea! It’s going to be so funny! Piper and Nola will laugh about it for days!
So that’s what he does:
(this guy has no shame)
(chocolate kiss poopies, because he’s full of magic)
Around 7am is where this totally brilliant idea becomes a very VERY bad decision made on my part, their mother.
True to form, my girls got up about 30 minutes earlier than I did, and go searching for Edward. Yes, they find Edward on the crapper. Yes, they find his green bag with their intended gift (barbie band aids!). And yes, they see that Edward took a magical candy poop. So funny!
So when I finally get up, I inquire about the compromising position Edward was found in.
Me: did you find Edward?
Them: Yes! He was on the potty, and he pooped chocolate!
Me: that’s so silly! Did you flush the toilet for him? Because when it’s brown, we flush it down…
Them: Yes! But I took out the chocolate, washed them off in the sink, and ate them.
Me: (dry heaving) OMG YOU ABSOLUTELY DID NOT DO THAT! WE DO NOT EAT FOOD FLOATING IN THE TOILET! YOU DID NOT DO THAT! YOU’RE KIDDING RIGHT?
Seriously, I am beyond words. I mean, I should have seen it coming, why wouldn’t a seven year old know not to eat candy floating in the toilet bowl?
I’ve decided I’m going to pretend this little event never happened. I really hate that elf.
*I stole Allison’s elf potty photos, I did exactly what she did, I just couldn’t bring myself to reenacting it, I’m already on the verge of suffering severe PTSD because of living through this event.
**now entered in the inappropriate Elf contest. Maybe eating out of the potty will win us an iPad2 or something! Please vote for me, I’m entry #104. Winning something would make me feel so much better about this whole ordeal.