So the past few days have really been hard. When I wrote about narrowly escaping stepping in neon vomit, little did I know that would be the very moment that would start the next 72 hours of my life.
Gage, kinda sick.
Michael, SICK SICK SICK.
We’re talking high fevers, digestive issues, misery turned up to ELEVEN.
I watched my beautiful king-sized ergo adjustable base oasis-of-a-bed (that I totally won in a contest), turn into an epic infirmary nest, filled with disgust and germs.
I did my best to be a good wife, mother, and caregiver. I tried my darnedest to do it with a joyful and willing heart. But honestly, I was miserable just like the rest of them, minus a case of the poops.
And then yesterday afternoon, I got denied a fancy opportunity I considered entitled to. And frankly, it fueled my fire and pissed me off even more.
LIFE WASN’T FAIR! EVERYONE OBVIOUSLY HATES ME!
Bitter I became. Hot with anger towards to world. Everything was wrong, I was living in the seventh circle of the realm.
And in the midst of my misery this afternoon, I went to the grocery store to get “sick supplies”.
While I was checking out, a mother and her 2 kids (about Gage and Paul’s age) were checking out right before me. She was undoubtly down on her luck. You know the type, or maybe you don’t. She was pleasant, she was sad, she had rightfully reached the end of her rapidly fraying rope.
I watched her pull out $10 to pay for her groceries, and still come up $5.42 short of her total. Those green grapes, they cost too much.
I then watched the very understanding check-out clerk start pulling one grape off the vine at a time, weighing it and putting it on the scale, so she could get as many grapes as possible for her $10.
So she could spend every penny of that $10, and not miss a single grape.
I welled up. I just couldn’t stand it. How could this be happening?
I felt so stupid, sitting in my pile of self loathing sink. Checking out with my organic applesauce, bottles of 100% juice, fancy string cheese, and all-grass fed whole milk.
Without really making eye contact, I handed the clerk six dollar bills.
She quickly finished the transaction.
I looked at the other mother, she looked at me. She said thanks, and I replied “no problem”.
That’s the whole story, she got her grapes, and I got my priorities realigned. Done.
We were both just moms, trying to survive. Albeit very (VERY) different lives.
And I feel ashamed for getting upset over ridiculous and trivial things I let bother me on a daily basis.