ticking clocks and stopwatch living

He’s been on the outside longer than the inside. Nine months old, and it’s all going too fast.

The ticking of the clock, such a naughty burglar. Today, both my sister and mom called independently to discuss Christmas gifts. And in my brain, I’m all CHRISTMAS IS FOREVER FROM NOW WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT IT, CHRISTMAS IS CLOSE TO PAUL’S 1ST BIRTHDAY, AND THAT’S AGES FROM NOW!

But in reality, it’s not that far away.

8097951717 d719f35c03 ticking clocks and stopwatch living

Today, this baby kid ate a whole piece of pizza for lunch. He also had a side of winter squash and some tasty probiotic yogurt. Washed down the whole mess with a healthy serving of breastmilk. I feel I need to mention that, based on the peperoni pizza slice I just admitted to feeding a nine month old.

But this kid is racing out of the baby stage, faster than a gently used tripp trapp on Craigslist. And while I’m mostly ready to ditch the brightly colored cheap plastic baby baggage, it kinda scares the nursing bra off me as well. I mean, my whole self worth for the past 8 years have been funneled into caring for my babies.

Sure, I have big kids, and they will continue to get older. But a baby, a baby will fade and disappear, never to be seen again.

8113879127 11262c7c51 ticking clocks and stopwatch living

I can feel it. This baby will learn tomorrow that he’s totally capable of retrieving the toys he’s pushed out of reach all by himself. And then what will become of me, his toy retrieving and and tower building mommy?

OMGEE someday I’ll have to have the sex talk with him.

Stupid worries. Trying to control silly things like a perpetual clock in motion. These thoughts must stop, and I must start living in the moment. Because right now, these moments are all I have.

*just write.

 

Comments

comments

Comments

  1. “Scares the nursing bra right off of me”
    I stopped nursing a month ago BUT CANT STOP WEARING THE NURSING BRA!!! Because then I have to admit that it’s over…
    Let it go Amy, let it go.
    For about the last six months of it I said I was so ready to be done and couldn’t wait for him to be a year, so I could quit. Now I’m sad. I suck at this. haha
    AMY recently posted..Away. Alone.

    [Reply]

  2. Word.

    I want to reach out and stop time so I can savor each babyhood moment, but it seems to go into fast forward with the pause button just out of reach. And then, instead of savoring it *right then* I’ve missed it because I was busy wishing I could enjoy it better.

    Darn babies, having to go and grow up so quickly.
    Jayna @ Yankee Drawl recently posted..in the middle of the night {just write}

    [Reply]

  3. I’ve been writing different versions on this theme for the past 7 years, ever since my youngest was born. How can I be anything other than a mother to young children? I was good at that. I don’t feel quite as adept at being a mother to older kids. It’s unsettling and I am unsettled because of it.

    Basically? I get where you’re at.
    Tracey Becker (@Justanothermom) recently posted..Just Writing…

    [Reply]

  4. i feel like i have this conversation with myself at least once a month. my one year old (tomorrow!) is walking & trying to run. I want to cup his little face in my hands and beg of him to SLOW THE HECK DOWN ALREADY!
    grace recently posted..white board diaries, vol. 3

    [Reply]

  5. It’s just NOT fair how quickly the baby stage goes. Not fair at all.
    Elaine recently posted..A Compromise

    [Reply]

  6. I’m so glad you’re posting this as I’m about ready to re-enter the baby stage after a couple year hiatus. I’m scared sh*tless and I know what to expect. At least I can think that a little over a year from now, I’ll be sad that phase is ending. Thank you for that :)
    Gamanda recently posted..People survive having preschool aged children?

    [Reply]

  7. Yep. I get it. All of it.
    Damn clock.

    He is such a cute freaking BABY!!!!
    Kat recently posted..Validation

    [Reply]

  8. You must be tired of the “It goes by so quickly” quote, so I won’t say it…even though I just did! Your son’s adorable!
    Roshni recently posted..“A house that does not have one warm, comfy chair in it is soulless”

    [Reply]

  9. I love that little boy.
    moosh in indy. recently posted..stupid choice cancer.

    [Reply]

  10. My kid zipped his own coat today. I required medication.
    joules recently posted..Week In My Life, 2012: Monday

    [Reply]

Speak Your Mind

*

CommentLuv badge