October 22, 2012 | Category: four
He’s been on the outside longer than the inside. Nine months old, and it’s all going too fast.
The ticking of the clock, such a naughty burglar. Today, both my sister and mom called independently to discuss Christmas gifts. And in my brain, I’m all CHRISTMAS IS FOREVER FROM NOW WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT IT, CHRISTMAS IS CLOSE TO PAUL’S 1ST BIRTHDAY, AND THAT’S AGES FROM NOW!
But in reality, it’s not that far away.
baby kid ate a whole piece of pizza for lunch. He also had a side of winter squash and some tasty probiotic yogurt. Washed down the whole mess with a healthy serving of breastmilk. I feel I need to mention that, based on the peperoni pizza slice I just admitted to feeding a nine month old.
But this kid is racing out of the baby stage, faster than a gently used tripp trapp on Craigslist. And while I’m mostly ready to ditch the brightly colored cheap plastic baby baggage, it kinda scares the nursing bra off me as well. I mean, my whole self worth for the past 8 years have been funneled into caring for my babies.
Sure, I have big kids, and they will continue to get older. But a baby, a baby will fade and disappear, never to be seen again.
I can feel it. This baby will learn tomorrow that he’s totally capable of retrieving the toys he’s pushed out of reach all by himself. And then what will become of me, his toy retrieving and and tower building mommy?
OMGEE someday I’ll have to have the sex talk with him.
Stupid worries. Trying to control silly things like a perpetual clock in motion. These thoughts must stop, and I must start living in the moment. Because right now, these moments are all I have.