inbox :: hindsight

I didn’t mean to take a blogging break. I didn’t really even realize I had done so, until a few people emailed me and wondered if I was OK, since I had stopped posting in this space.

And the truth is, I’m mostly OK. But whoa girl, December was rough in the Overextended Department of my life. I took on a freakish amount of work, both online and off, and it was all I could do just to make it to the end of the year without my family completely disowning.

Truth: I feel asleep before 9pm on the evening of December 31st, and I think it sums up my 2012 just perfectly.

Loved ones, your Christmas/apology card is in the mail. Wait, just kidding. Ain’t nobody got time for that!

Honestly, I knew I took on too much work, sometime in early October. I committed myself to SO! MUCH!, but the ball was already in motion, and even though I could see it in the distance, I couldn’t stop the inevitable meltdown that surely was to follow.

Why did I do this to myself? I don’t know. Maybe I have a hard time telling people no. Possibly I became a slave to the almighty dollar, during a time of year that can get so very expensive. Or maybe I just needed to feel needed by people other than my children. Whatever the reason, I took on too much.

It was the end of November when I got an email titled “hindsight” from my friend Steph, that I knew things had to change. I see a lot of myself in her, except she’s always a couple paces ahead of me. We’ve work a lot of the same online projects, we both have four kids (her’s are just a couple years older than mine), and we both love a good jam band (PHISH!). And I hope she doesn’t mind me saying it, but I think our personalities quite similar.

I’ve always looked up to her in a big sister kind of way. Not older, but way wiser.

Her email was short and to the point:

“Take a look at the 1st comment on this post…”

(I’ll give you a minute, go read it.)

**********

This extremely simple kick to my inbox was perfectly timed. She was calling me out, much like I called her out 18 months earlier, for doing too much.

Steph, you have no idea how this one sentence email changed me. If you ever make it back to Indy, I owe you a manicure or something. After we nap, of course.

8338174528 fe42279797 inbox :: hindsight

I’m claiming today is the official start to my new year. A better year. A year where I’m going to find more downtime in my day and not feel guilty about it for one single second. Something must give, and I refuse it to be my sanity.

So does that  mean I’ll be extending my “blogging break” in this space? No, just the opposite. Over the years, place has become a tool for keeping myself healthy, and I’m sad that I’ve let myself get away from it like I have in recent months. Call it cheap therapy, but “blogging it out” works really well for me.

But I’ve learned from my mistakes, and I will be taking on less. Both online and off, it’s the only way, and I make no apologies.

Ok, now who wants to teach me how to simultaneously knit and watch movies, without feeling guilty about “being lazy”? I’ve heard Love Actually is a good movie, and I’ve never seen it.

I’m exited.

 

 

 

Comments

comments

Comments

  1. You coming to BlissDom? I will teach you to knit and watch movies :)
    Love you times a million.
    Kim recently posted..New Year, New Me

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    Emily Reply:

    I’m thinking about it, haven’t committed yet. :) It’s just such a loooooong way from Indianapolis.

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  2. Oh gosh I’m just so glad. I know this is the kind of perspective you only have after trudging through and coming out on the other side. Last year was one of my best yet and I think set the stage for this year to rock it out even more. I see the same for you. I also wish so hard we didn’t live far apart! I don’t know if it’s weird to say but I long to be around more people a bit similar to me. Maybe it makes you feel less alone? Or less crazy? Or just like you fit or belong. So I just love this. And your prompting to me all that time before was what I needed then, too. Thank you.

    Steph
    Adventures in Babywearing recently posted..That One Christmas In Ohio

    [Reply]

    Emily Reply:

    Steph, I will be forever grateful to you, and I hope you know it. You will forever shaped how I parent, all the way from birthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, diaperwearing and parenting. I’m not kidding, I owe you.

    At the end of the day, I wish we were neighbors, I really do. It would be awesome. Fortunately, we have the internet, and I’m not letting you go, just because you moved out west. Let me know when you’re ready for visitors. :)

    [Reply]

    Stephanie Precourt Reply:

    @Emily, It will be the perfect place to visit us!! :)

    Steph
    Stephanie Precourt recently posted..January FOUR

    [Reply]

  3. Rest and love on yourself. Just do it.
    Katie recently posted..cautiously optimistic

    [Reply]

    Emily Reply:

    You have always one of my biggest cheerleaders. I want you to know, I too am one of your, and I hope you know it.

    [Reply]

  4. Princess Eldest can teach you to knit. I’ve never seen Love Actually. And I love to see you back in this space. :)
    Cherie recently posted..FREE Outback Bloomin’ Onion TODAY Only

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  5. I need this to be a better year than 2012. I need to find a job, as I was recently laid-off from my full-time, secure government job. I need to find passion in a career and make money from that. I need to find more time to blog like I used to and to bring back blogging like it used to be. (We need to talk about this, still…)
    I need to get healthier and get out of this rut that I’m currently in. I don’t even want to make resolutioins because I feel so down right now. But! I’m staying optimistic, or trying to, because a new year means new opportunties, right?
    Loukia recently posted..Reflections, 2012: A Year In Review

    [Reply]

    Emily Reply:

    I’m all about bringing blogging back. And yes, even though I’m completely trying to “cut back”, I’m all about finding new opportunities that fit me perfectly and finding gold in the least suspect places.

    Loukia, you have always been gold to me. In regards to a job, you will find it. And until then, look for it in the most unsuspecting places. Like your URL… (maybe? yes?)

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  6. Good for you girl. Excited to hear more from your heart on here ;)
    Shannon recently posted..she walks…I react. obviously.

    [Reply]

    Emily Reply:

    If we lived close, you would hate me, but we would be good friends. Wait, I already consider you a close friend, but don’t hate me. xoxox.

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  7. Sarah Partain says:

    Yay. And in between our craziness coming up, I would love to knit with you. I’m excited to see and hear from a slower you!

    [Reply]

    Emily Reply:

    I’m going to be a better, more fun, super awesome person to hang out with. Also, if I was actually sending apology notes out, you would get one. Consider this yours (maybe?). Also, I love you!

    [Reply]

  8. I don’t know how to knit, but I can watch you learn while I cry during Love, Actually. It’s a great movie. :-) Colin Firth is mine, but there are plenty of other British men to choose from ;-)

    [Reply]

    Emily Reply:

    we need to hang out asap. It’s dumb that we don’t. I’m forever (always) here….

    [Reply]

    Lauren Reply:

    @Emily, Yes. Agreed. I, also, am always around, most likely closer to you than you’d think. And, I noticed a lot of John Irving on the bookshelf pic with Paul…I LOVE John Irving. And books. And you. :-)

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  9. I know how to knit and watch a movie. lol
    You are a fabulous person and can’t wait to read you in 2013. Hugs

    [Reply]

  10. You MUST watch Love Actually. It’s truly delicious and everyone has a cute British accent which makes it 10x better.

    Happy New Year!
    classyfabsarah recently posted..2012 Year in Review

    [Reply]

  11. I am so happy you are back!
    Heres to 2013.
    I celebrated New Years with a time zone ahead of my own, cuz I was too damn tired to stay up. I hear ya.

    [Reply]

  12. I smell an IGG night with knitting and a movie. I’ll bring the booze. I’ve missed you here, but believe me, I know how that goes. You write what you want when you want and we’ll still be here.
    Angie Six recently posted..Help. Thanks. Wow.

    [Reply]

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  1. [...] in 2012, definitely not as many as I had hoped, but like I said, life got busy. And because of the hindsight I now have, I hope to read a whole lot more in [...]

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