I didn’t mean to take a blogging break. I didn’t really even realize I had done so, until a few people emailed me and wondered if I was OK, since I had stopped posting in this space.
And the truth is, I’m mostly OK. But whoa girl, December was rough in the Overextended Department of my life. I took on a freakish amount of work, both online and off, and it was all I could do just to make it to the end of the year without my family completely disowning.
Truth: I feel asleep before 9pm on the evening of December 31st, and I think it sums up my 2012 just perfectly.
Loved ones, your Christmas/apology card is in the mail. Wait, just kidding. Ain’t nobody got time for that!
Honestly, I knew I took on too much work, sometime in early October. I committed myself to SO! MUCH!, but the ball was already in motion, and even though I could see it in the distance, I couldn’t stop the inevitable meltdown that surely was to follow.
Why did I do this to myself? I don’t know. Maybe I have a hard time telling people no. Possibly I became a slave to the almighty dollar, during a time of year that can get so very expensive. Or maybe I just needed to feel needed by people other than my children. Whatever the reason, I took on too much.
It was the end of November when I got an email titled “hindsight” from my friend Steph, that I knew things had to change. I see a lot of myself in her, except she’s always a couple paces ahead of me. We’ve work a lot of the same online projects, we both have four kids (her’s are just a couple years older than mine), and we both love a good jam band (PHISH!). And I hope she doesn’t mind me saying it, but I think our personalities quite similar.
I’ve always looked up to her in a big sister kind of way. Not older, but way wiser.
Her email was short and to the point:
“Take a look at the 1st comment on this post…”
(I’ll give you a minute, go read it.)
This extremely simple kick to my inbox was perfectly timed. She was calling me out, much like I called her out 18 months earlier, for doing too much.
Steph, you have no idea how this one sentence email changed me. If you ever make it back to Indy, I owe you a manicure or something. After we nap, of course.
I’m claiming today is the official start to my new year. A better year. A year where I’m going to find more downtime in my day and not feel guilty about it for one single second. Something must give, and I refuse it to be my sanity.
So does that mean I’ll be extending my “blogging break” in this space? No, just the opposite. Over the years, place has become a tool for keeping myself healthy, and I’m sad that I’ve let myself get away from it like I have in recent months. Call it cheap therapy, but “blogging it out” works really well for me.
But I’ve learned from my mistakes, and I will be taking on less. Both online and off, it’s the only way, and I make no apologies.
Ok, now who wants to teach me how to simultaneously knit and watch movies, without feeling guilty about “being lazy”? I’ve heard Love Actually is a good movie, and I’ve never seen it.