Gross <————- not my word for 2013, but possibly the word to sum up the second half of 2012.
Gross is the word that perfectly sums up my insides and outsides. I’m not deep in the pit of depression, or getting eaten alive by anxiety, I just feel gross.
I look around my house. Blerg, gross. I look in the mirror, gross. Sleeping? I sleep gross. I wake up every night around 4am with a song stuck in my head.
My heart, soul, body, all kinda gross. And while gross isn’t the worst word in the world, it’s certainly not a word I want to describe my life.
So what’s a girl to do?
I’m almost a week into my big makeover of sorts, and since I started it in the last few days of January, I’m demanding we don’t call my efforts a STUPID new years resolutions.
And because I want to be held accountable for my actions, I need to share what I’m doing. You know, so I don’t quit tomorrow when OMGEEE all I want is a pizza washed down with a beer. Because that happens to me too often.
Here’s where I’m at:
I’m hitting the gym again. For the past four or five months, I’ve literally paid my gym fees and not gone one single time. But as of last week, I’m back. I’m starting slow, just a few miles on the treadmill, and maybe a mile or two on a bike. The whole #plankaday movement? I might join. I just need to move my body, get my energy out in a productive way.
I’m wearing a Fitbit, as a way to add accountability to my life.
Long story short, I’m really good at winning things. Maybe it’s the lucky horseshoe lodged up in my youknowwhat, but my name gets pulled out of the hat more than the average person. So, while at a conference this summer, of course I won a fitbit. And other than our trip to Disney this fall, I’ve never used it. Primarily because I didn’t want to know how truly sloth-like I had become. It measures steps, miles, stairs, calories and even sleep patterns.
And I’m changing the way I eat. I even started a diet with a name to jump-start healthy eating habits. December 31st marks the last time a nursed Paul, and I’m eager to get ride of the last bit of baby weight. And even though weight loss isn’t the total point, I would be lying if I didn’t admit to wanting to lose a few pounds. Honestly, my closet and I could do without 10-15 pounds of me. I’m doing this diet with two of my sisters and even potentially my mother, which is awesome accountability.
Also, I get extremely hangry (hungry-angry) every evening around 8-10pm and I turn to pinterest as my vice. Pin all the pies, pin all the nachos…
The first phase of the “diet with a name” is a cleansing period, which basically boils down to copious amounts of green veggies, probiotics and lean protein. To cut to the chase, you go to the bathroom a ton, and it’s a good thing.
Every day I start with a smoothie:
The way I make my ‘moooothie (says Gage):
Handful of greens (either spinach, kale, chard)
1 cut up pear/apple/kiwi
1/2 cup frozen berries
add about 1/2 cup both kiefer and odwalla superfood
And because I’m freaky:
1 tbl. Chia Seeds
1tbl. Hemp Protein Powder
In addition to getting my health right, I’m actually starting the day (well, around 9am, after I’ve put Paul down for his morning nap) with an online #shereadstruth devotion, and sitting in front of my beloved SAD light.Pun intended, it feels pretty darn amazing to start the day with a little light.
You guys, it’s all working. I mean, I know I’m in the early stages of everything, but I’m feeling much more even-steven. And I’m desperate to continue down a much smoother road.
So yeah, I just had to let you know what was up. Keep me accountable, will ya?