When I get a bad ’bout of anxiety or depression (or is it anxiety and depression, because sometimes they’re just darn hard to keep separate), it fells like the weight of “the heavy” eats all my words.
If I could put to word into how I’m feeling, it would be like a whole messy novel of years worth of worry sitting on my lungs like a slab of concrete. So much to say, but impossible to put into complete sentences.
So on days where all my words are drying in wet cement, I’m left either to sit silent (which is often the best option), or find the half full. Which is typically way more than half full. Oftentimes, more like overflowing.
Things that make me smile (today):
Spring Break is in less than 2 weeks, and my (previously back-ordered) control top tankini from Lands End just arrived at my door. It fits perfectly, and doesn’t make me feel like a total grandma (but yes, a total MOM).
On Valentines Day, I was in the right place at the right time (twitter!) when I was gifted via 140 characters a pair of boots, thanks to the most generous company Paypal. You guys, even on my most frivolous of days I could never justify paying this much for something I put on my feet. Screw flip flop season, mama has a new pair of boot!
Also, this photo was taken March 17 of 2012. Friends, that’s 10 days from now (a year ago). Currently there’s still a few inches of snow on the ground, but I think there’s still hope for a repeat. Don’t you?
And due to a little well intended teasing, I’m happy to report that Gage currently thinks he has a shy little mouse living in his bellybutton. Man, three year olds are so unintentionally hilarious.
Oh, one of my newest obsessions, Freakers USA decided it would be a good idea to work with me on a little bloggy promotion. Now, all my beer/wine/liqueur bottles are properly outfitted with clothes. I couldn’t be more thrilled. Keep your eyes peeled, of course there will be more bottle ugly sweater talk in the near future.
Your grammy, your aunty, your momma, your mammy (your lady cholula hot sauce bottle)…. I’ll freak that motha-freaker!
Speaking of freakers, I’m become freakishly obsessed with my crockpot. I’ve been on a Cuban rice and beans and Tikka Marsala kick, as of late. Oh, and gimme a whole chicken? I’ll stock that bird slow-cooker style.
And even though I feel like I’m a big black void of words, I’m constantly reminded about how fortunate I am to get to work from home, writing (blogging) about my family. Fresh up: Paul and all his mischief.
Speaking about blogging (we were talking about that, right?), I recently hired a designer to give this blog a fresh look. I’ve been writing here for over 7 years, and never once had a real design. Yes, I’m beyond pumped about this way overdue splurge.
Everyday I tell myself that instead of going to be early, I’m going to stay up late and get some words written down. So many stories and ideas to be written down, very little time to document. Night falls, and I curl up early. I just started this book, and two nights deep I think I’m in love.
And least we forget:
Love you guys, thanks for sticking with me through the ugly.