It was a robot with quiet magic

It started a few weeks ago when we were cat sitting for Ms. Shireen while she was out of town at a book convention. Gage came with me to feed Mr. George Weasly, and when we got back in the car he showed me two shiny quarters he had lifted from her place.

He found “two pieces of money”.


Last week he stacked empty laundry baskets against Michael’s dresser and took a pocket knife from the top drawer. I didn’t realize HE HAD A KNIFE until I found it, blade extended, between the sheets of his bed.


Monday night after we had gone to bed, we heard someone shuffling around downstairs. Michael went to investigate the situation and found Gage with eight $1 bills in his hand. He had taken a tall bar stool, climbed up to where I keep my purse, and took the money out of my wallet.


When he gets into any vehicle, he checks all cup holders for coins so that when he gets to a store he can buy a gumball.


We’ve had to start locking the girls bedroom during the day while they’re out of school because he’ll sneak up to their space and search high and low until he finds their candy.


And then there was yesterday’s conversation between Michael and Gage, when Gage was caught red handed hiding in his bedroom munching on candy taken from the girls room:

Michael: Gage where did you get that candy?

Gage: I dunno.

Michael: Gage, where did you get that candy? If you tell me the truth right now, you won’t get punished.

Gage: It was a robot.

Michael: A robot?

Gage: A robot with quiet magic. The robot took the candy and gave it to me. I tried to fight the robot, but the robot ran away. The robot’s name was “Robot Attack”.

Michael: Gage I’m pretty sure you’re lying. You’re going to be punished if you don’t tell the truth.

Gage: Paul did it.


You guys, my kid is a pint sized kleptomaniac . It’s been going on for awhile – and he’s rock solid in his every denial, never fessing up to what we know is the truth.

Last night after “Robot Attack”, we punished Gage and sent him to bed at 6pm – where he proceeded to kick and cry until around 9pm. At nine when we went in to talk to him we asked him again about the candy and if he had anything he would like to tell us. He firmly stuck to his story – throwing poor little baby Paul under the bus.

Paul did not do it. Robot Attack didn’t do it.

Gage just turned four, and he’s old enough to know right from wrong when it comes to stealing. We’ve talked to him, we’ve punished him, and we’ve attempted to instill the fear of God into him.

Nothing is working.

11209620556 954840b651 It was a robot with quiet magic

This morning he called this hat his aunt Betsy gave him over Thanksgiving break his “Bank Robber Mask”.

I can’t even.

Clearly it’s time for an intervention. I don’t want to visit The Rage and his scary pirate voice behind bars anytime soon.




  1. Susan Alberda says:

    We had a horrible problem with Eliza lying. We still do on occasion. There were only two things that ever worked, and they could not have been more opposite. The first was making her bite down on a bar of soap (ala “The Christmas Story”). The second was sitting down with the Bible, talking about what Jesus thinks of lying, and having her ask for forgiveness from Him. She was sobbing by the end of it. Heart-felt, “I am so sorry” sobbing. It was amazing to witness. She’s getting better, but it’s definitely a hard thing to correct. Today if you ask her what makes Mommy more mad than anything, she will instantly tell you it’s when she lies. And she’s totally right.


  2. Stephanie says:

    I had the opposite experience with my 4 year old. She was holding a spool of Hello Kitty ribbon that we were supposed to buy at Michael’s. I forgot that she was holding it, and when we got out of the store after paying for everything else, I noticed her holding it. I said: “We didn’t pay for that!” and she just burst into tears and yelled, “Mommy, we have to go back, we have to go back.”

    Also, I’m honestly not sure, but do you mean “quite magic” or “quiet magic”? You have “quite” both times, so maybe he’s talking about a lot of magic?


  3. yes, we too have this problem. one of ours have stolen legos from their friend’s house a number of times over the last few weeks. it’s a wonder his friends even let him come over to play anymore!!! if it’s not one thing, it’s another!! thankfully, he hasn’t stolen anything out of a store….yet.
    Bethany recently posted..Siblings


  4. I had a preschooler pocket two of my buttons and pull them out of his pocket in the lunch line and tell me magic put them in there.
    The Many Thoughts of a Reader recently posted..December Intentions


  5. yup, we’ve got the lying bug over here, too. only instead of stealing, our guy’s problem is hurting his little brother. like, pinching him hard or pulling his hair. with the littlest one running all over the place now i’m sure there’s some jealousy and resentment going on (clearly), but it’s driving me mad. i’ll catch him (or sometimes not) and when we ask why baby brother is crying we get something like ‘he fell over all by his self’ or ‘i don’t know’ or just straight up ‘i didn’t do it!’ complete with shifty eyes and guilty look. i wish i could say that it’s the lying that bothers me most, but the purposeful roughness makes my stomach knot up in anger, too. nothing has worked on either the lying or hurting, so i understand your desperation.
    Sarah recently posted..Oct + Nov


  6. I am convinced that God places a little crazy in each #3 in a family!


Speak Your Mind


CommentLuv badge